I’m so sorry for being so silent. I just had a rough week and couldn’t really find enough time to sit down and blog. As this is something I do for fun I don’t want to pressure myself to write when I don’t feel like it. I’m afraid it would make this “blogging thing” a lot less fun and i believe it would reflect poorly on my writing skills ( in other words: I’ll rush and it won’t be very good!)
Today is just a quick update (at least this post) and then I’ll get to work on some other posts for the following days. There’s quite a bit of catching up to do. I’m feeling better most days and am actually looking forward to going to school again (I’ve been in a funk: uninspired and unmotivated and consumed by crochet and knitting combined with bad habits isn’t very good for anybody!) I’m still consumed by crochet and knitting, but I feel like things are getting a bit more balanced. When I just got into knitting and crochet I was so excited I spent all my time on it. I used to love doing my nails, but I barely did so anymore. The time to let them dry seemed far too long! the past few weeks I’ve been doing my nails again and have generally started to feel like it’s quite alright to not be obsessed all the time. It’s okay to do other things too. I won’t die if I’m not in contact with yarn all the time. I’ve also realized that I really have to get my ass in gear concerning my schoolwork, or this year will end up a total failure, something which I really can’t afford. There’s still a lot to be done in that field, but I feel like I’m making more and more better choices and if i stick with it, i’ll get there.
I’ve also been getting more and more mad at myself for my bad eating habits, my lack of exercise and weird sleeping hours ( stay up late and sleep in). I’m wanting to start exercising again. I’m thinking of setting myself the goal of running a 10 km competition before this time next year. I used to really like running (as long as I could bring my iPod and could do it on a trail instead of a boring track) and i was in great shape (my body loves me!). I generally felt better and happier when i worked out every now and then. Even a run once a week would be better than nothing. The running would also help me tone up a bit, as my bad eating habits have caused me too lose some shape and help me feel more comfortable, because I think my body (although there is absolutely nothing wrong with it!) is ver different from the way it used to be (curvy and full instead of lean and toned and in proportion) and this may be one of the reasons i’m not as i’m supposed to be. A few steps toward my old self would help me get back on top of things I believe!
I mentioned my bad eating habits, they are horrendous and I know it. I know I should change and yet I don’t. I feel like a coward sometimes because they have a very clear reason. I live in a dorm hall with 16 people and 1 small kitchen. I’m very shy and don’t like when people constant comment on whatever I’m doing. there’s this one rather fat guy in my dorm that ALWAYS comments on what i’m eating whilst compared to him I’m a stick figure. He doesn’t eat healthy himself, nope, just makes me feel bad when I don’t. I can’t stand the guy!!!
Basically I’m a coward and to avoid his snarky comments, I don’t cook. At all. I live on ramen and pre made salads. And sometimes some pizza. I’ve decided ot cooking because that person annoys me and makes me feel like crap is idiotic. He shouldn’t have such an influence on me! So i’m going to start cooking again, which I used to really enjoy!
Okay, this post is turning into a bit of a rant, but at least this gives a sort of look into my life and what’s going on. Back to the fun stuff!